Monday, December 10, 2012

Mixing Business with (dis)Pleasure?


They say you mustn’t ever mix business with pleasure. I always figured that it was a mere suggestion, rather than a rule to live by. Boy, was I wrong.  Teaching at a school (more like assistant teaching), I learned to heed the warning—the hard way.  I took on an internship at a local school through an alum-turned-friend from college.  There were initially two teaching interns. When we were given the initial tour of the school, something—or rather someone—stuck out: a very, very, VERY tall man with boyish looks. Of course, my luck being as it is, I was placed into his classroom to co-teach. Strike one.

So, over the course of the semester, I got to know this man pretty well.  I, being a bit of a tomboy at times, was able to bond with him one day playing basketball. Believe it or not, folks, but I’m pretty gnarly (yes. I’m bringing it back) in basketball. I suppose he was impressed when I started playing basketball daily with our students. Perhaps even more impressed when I relaxed in the position (and in my life outside of the school) and started actually dressing like an adult—dresses, skirts, blouses, heels, the works—yet continued to play basketball with the students, heels and all. Anyway, after a while I noticed that the dynamic had slightly shifted. It was as if he made it a point to be near me, talk to me, etc. Then to top it all off, my other coworkers insisted that he had some sort of schoolboy crush on me. Did I mention that he is younger than I am? Yeah. We’ll come back to this issue in another post.

One weekend, the dynamic changed. Not exponentially, but after hanging out with him outside of school, ish was never the same. Strike Two. The next Monday at school, this boy was gazing at me as if I were the last Flintstones Sorbet push-pop on the most offensively hot days of summer.  Me, being the oblivious one that I am (I’m sure my cohorts would cosign this notion), went on as if nothing happened.  Eventually, the puppy dog looks and inappropriate staring in front of the children drove me to confide in my friend. She claimed she knew he had a crush all along.  In fact, he used to call me his girlfriend behind my back. And then there was my favorite—texting me from across the room. Not even  across a huge room. He’d be facing me and would text me dumb ish. Needless to say, the rest of the semester was…well…awkward. Not because we kept messing around (because we didn’t) but because he’s an awkward individual. Strike 3. Over the summer, I hung out with him once more before determining that I was THROUGH.

I’ll spare you all of the details. Just know that I’m never doing that again. Not that he’s a terrible person. I’m sure deep down inside, there’s a personality just WAITING to get out. To this day, it’s just one of those “what the hell was I thinking” moments. Overall, It’s better to just avoid office romances or pseudo-romances altogether. Unless you’re sure it’s some kind of Harlequin-esque love connection, steer clear.  Remember that you’ll have to see said person the weekday, and one of you is going to think it’s more than what it is. And it will get awkward. Especially if one party wanted nothing further to do with the other.

♦♣♠♥

My lovely cohort would attempt to be a lady about this, which is quite refreshing, though I however am about to abandon all of the Midwestern/Southern tutelage my mama has ever attempted to instill in me.  An office liaison will either be so amazing you want to punch an angel, or so heart-wrenchingly, head poundingly, gut turningly (yea I made those up, it’s our blog, shut it) awful that you want to level your office and slap a heaux.  Let me lay a little background on you .

Certain things bother me and always will; men who drag their feet, eat with their mouth open while talking, reach into your plate without asking, men who duck walk, men who talk when you ask for silence, who want to share their feelings when you’re trying to drink your wine, men who start touching you all over when they don’t know you (especially when you said don’t), who tag along when not invited, annnnnnnd anyone, ANYONE who doesn’t do their job, therefore, making my job harder.  Basically, you can take from this that I’m a bit of a bitc-excuse me, heifer (I guess me cursing takes the unlady-likeness of this post too far).  I have never met a man who embodied all my dislikes in one place, I mean really, that man can’t exist! Wrongo.  He existed, and during the busiest season at my job, he showed up.

Now personally, when he first arrived, it seemed a pleasant change of scenery.  He was a relative gentleman, another brown face, and seemed sweet.  His job was quite simple, file paperwork.  Right off the bat I handed him my stack and went back to my hectic desk.  He took this as the perfect opportunity to talk to me, which was fine, I like the chase, until it got awkward.  He would spend all of his time talking to me while I was trying to work, including interrupting business phone-calls with clients to show me something he thought was funny.  He would interrupt conversations I had with coworkers so he could throw in his two cents, even if they were in private corners, even if we told him we needed a moment.  Then he’d just lean on whatever I was sitting in and wait, while staring, intently.  My personal favorite moment was during a conversation with my boss in her office; he walked in, sat on the edge of her desk and began to regale us with “Oooo yea, that’s interesting, reminds me of the time…” (I blacked out in a fit of red rage here so I don’t remember the story).  My boss, being the most awesome heifer that walked this planet, kindly sent him on his way with a, “how’s that paperwork coming?”  She then turned to me and said “You know you’re going to have to let brother man down right?  I suggest you wait until his contract is up, but this has got to change.  I don’t have time to find another assistant when you go to prison, and judging by the hate and larceny you have written on your face, that’s where this is going.”  Things liked this happened for a while and a few times I absolutely snapped, exorcist style.  The worst time was when he put his hand  in the slit sleeve of my shirt, stroked my arm and said “ I know you don’t like being touched, but I’m just a toucher, and since you had something spilled on you, I’ll just have to lick it off too.”  I’ve never wanted to slap the smarmy look off of someone’s face so hard in my life.  My mind blanks out the rest of that night…(for HR purposes).  Luckily, he was only a temp, so I got to get rid of him, but others may not be so lucky.

In the end, this could simply be a one-time kind of event, maybe it won’t happen to you, though it probably will if you decide to get creative within the office.  It isn’t worth the headache.  They always say don’t shi…I mean defecate, where you eat and I 100% agree. If you like the convenience, date someone from the office next door, date the  person from the parking space assigned next to you, date your dry cleaner, your dog walker, your landlord (but I don’t suggest those last three either really), just not a coworker.  Come to think of it, don’t ever date or sleep with your room mate either, but that’s another post…

~Angeliqué & Ashley (respectively), BossBeauties


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