NO MEANS NO!

This post may have been written out of anger. This may have been written out of exasperation. Or perhaps a mix of the two. Either way, as the title says:

NO MEANS NO!

A couple of posts ago (What Women Want...Kinda), I spoke of a particularly sour experience involving a member of the opposite sex. Hell, let me stop being prim and proper for a second---the wack ass creepy McCreeperson Spanish-speaking Senegalese dude that thought it would be cool to try to boss my ass into bed with him. 1) Even thinking about that instance makes me angry and potentially violent. 2) Still angry. 3) I had a legitimate fear that I would see him again down the line. Well, here I am, days before my departure back to the US, and I figured that I was in the clear, as I had not seen him since February. Two weeks ago, I had a brush with danger. I had gone out with some housemates and friends to the Latina/Africana night at Irish Rover here in Salamanca. I was worried about running into him there, but was relieved when I did not see him. On another note, I beasted and won the Reggaeton dancing contest, with the help of up-and-coming Electro-latino singer Joel of Dary & Joel. Yes. Beasted. But I digress...After my triumphant win, my posse and I decided that we wanted to go grab some beers at a bar not too far away. When we got within a block of the bar, I looked up and I spotted him. And ran like the dickens. When my friends caught up with me...a block or so away, I explained who it was and that there was no way in hell I was going near him and the bar. They understood, and we began making our way home. Danger, averted.

Fast forward to last night: I went out with a housemate and her friends to...a bunch of places. Of course, like most nights, we ended up at Kandhavia, which at the time was very empty. So, I proceeded to do what any person in a near-empty discoteca would do---dance dramatically in the middle of the dance floor with friends. Duh. Slowly, people began to appear (Kandhavia is one of those after, after-hours places; it is open until about 7am). I will never forget it. I was dancing to the beginning of Taylor Swift's "Trouble" (rare occurrence since I hate her music), and I spotted him walking in with his friends. I began to panic internally, and tried to put all of my energy into dancing with one of my friends. As if on cue, as Taylor screamed and sang "Trouble, trouble, trouble", Mr. Terrifying grabbed me by the arm and stared me dead in the face. Nervously, I said "Hi" and tried to break his grasp---to no avail. "Angélica, do you remember me?" He asked (remember, in Spanish). I nodded and looked in the direction of my friends for help. "Do you remember my name?" Of course I didn't. I shook my head nervously, and finally broke free. He kept trying to talk, but I was literally running around and hiding behind people to get him to understand that I did not want to talk to him. He eventually backed off, but stood at the side and watched stared at me dancing with my friends. CREEP. It made my stomach turn. I literally could not stomach it, and was glad when one of my friends wanted to go outside for fresh air. I eventually was ready to go, but had to go back for my sweater, which was still on the platform on which I was sitting. I made a mad dash that even FloJo would have been proud of to retrieve it and my friend's jacket, and headed for the door. WHY did he try to grab me again? I almost had to do the reverse Matrix to get away. Even now, as I am sitting in my room, about to head out for another night on the town with friends, my stomach has begun to turn nervously because of the possibility of having to do it all over again tonight.

This brings me to my topic for today: NO MEANS NO. I know this may seem like a kindergarten lesson, but it is something that clearly people have not grasped as yet, particularly men. Let me elaborate: When you are out with a woman, or out and meet a woman, and she shows disinterest or apprehension, BACK THE HELL UP!!! And if she says the word "no" in whatever language that you are speaking in (trust, living in Europe, I know how to say it in a plethora of languages), it is usually a long-standing and resounding "No." I say usually because I know there are some of you out there with Fifty Shades-esque bedroom lives in which "no" means "yes" and "red" means "no." No judgment. In fact...well...never mind.

I know I am very clear when I do not like someone. Like dude. Lef' me lone nuh! I should not have to be careful walking around my own city because I do not want to have to run into you. ¡Déjame en paz!

That's all I really wanted to say. As you were. But take heed: Regardless of what time zone, hemisphere, continent, country, state, borough or barrio you live in—

No. Means. No.

-Angeliqué, a Boss Beauty (who ain't playin' no games)