*Feature* ASK A BOSSBEAUTY: What Makes a Woman Beautiful?

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Michael Price, from Washington, DC asked:

“What makes a woman beautiful? And why does every group of girls always have the ugly friend? Everyone I’ve ever known always claims ‘All my girls are pretty,’ and in the next breath, "Not one of those girls are cute." I’m looking forward to the BossBeauties  response.”

Well, Michael (Can we call you Curtis?), first—Congratulations on being our first “Ask A BossBeauty” asker. We really appreciate it. And now, our answers: *drumroll please*

Angeliqué:

To me, beauty is so much more than what is skin-deep. Yes, that is the first thing that you see and what attracts members of the opposite sex (or the same sex, for that matter), but that is not the whole picture.  I could go through a laundry list of physical attributes that equate beauty in the eyes of society, but I won’t.  The truth is that physical beauty is subjective. Look at us: we are three women who look nothing alike, yet are each beautiful in our own ways. Sure, symmetrical features, full lips, slanted eyes, generous waist-to-hip ratio, curves galore, we have got those. But what makes us beautiful is truly different in each of us. Beauty is found in the way a woman carries herself, as well as how she interacts with others.  Charisma. Likeability.

I think ugly is an interesting word. Like beauty, it is subjective. Ask Ashley and Sadé—we have completely different tastes in men; I actually don’t think that we have ever agreed on anyone. I seldom call people ugly (karma is a spiteful b!tch), but if I do, it is more likely that it has to do with their attitude. I believe that it was Kanye West who said, “The prettiest people do the ugliest things…”, and I agree with this. You could be the most gorgeous person in the world (behind us, of course), but if you have an ugly personality, it oozes from your pores like a sickness, obscuring any semblance of beauty in existence. Then, of course, there are the others, who have what my dad calls, a “difficult beauty,” whose personality makes them likeable.

I don’t agree with the notion that every group of girls has an ugly friend. On a conceited note, I do not have ugly friends. Not a one. And I am not just saying that; my friends are truly some of the most gorgeous people that I have ever known, inside and out.  Inside, being their personalities and their hearts; outside, being that they are bad as sh!t beyond compare.  And college-educated/intelligent/loving/sincere? WOOOO.  We are a force to be reckoned with when we roll in a pack. Facts.  [Ashley: All pretty friends means everyone can get in/get stuff for free, and we need that. Balling on a budget here...]

What I will say, however, is that there are sometimes hangers-on that are usually those that are classified as the ugly friend. I had one of those back in college.  I won’t get into it in this post (I’ll save that tragic story for another time), but I will never forget what Ashley told me one day as we were walking to class my freshman year of college—she told me “That girl is using you for what she can get by being connected to you.” I was taken aback. However, in retrospect, Ashley was right on the money. Regardless of how the girl looked, her personality was ugly as hell, and though she reaped the benefits of being my friend, I was saddled with the responsibility and runoff of being hers. Not only was she nasty to others (a trait, which she called “being real”, another topic we will address in another post), but she had a terribly low self-esteem. So she viewed herself as the ugly friend.  Not good.

Sadé:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is subjective; although you may not find one friend to be attractive within a group, that doesn't mean that someone else won't.  Also, if one group of females doesn't find another group of females to be attractive, usually there are some insecurities going on there, or hell, they may just think that particular group of females is unattractive.  Again, it is subjective.

           Now, I think that this subject-matter matters, for example, if we’re discussing situations in which friends are hooking up friends.  I think that he/she should know what their friend likes, in terms of physical attractions and be honest before said hook up occurs so one doesn't run into the "You said all your friends were cute but he/she isn't; you tried to set me up" situations. I said he/she, since the situation happens on both sides of the fence and not only with female friends. As Angeliqué posted, we, as a group of friends, have different tastes in men that overlaps in some places. If I tried to hook Angeliqué up with guy who was a foot shorter than her, she would have had a conniption. [Angeliqué: *gags* That made me so angry, just reading that. THE HORROR!] Ashley may find him attractive because he may be her type (Husky/football player-esque), and I would think he was alright because he wasn’t skinty, but I’d prefer for him to be slightly taller. Or, suppose there was a group of three guys: two were tall and muscular, with a football build, the other one was short and skinny, with body hair—the three of us would think that the third is the “ugly” friend, as he is not attractive to any of us.  That would not mean, however, that he isn’t/wouldn’t be attractive to someone else.

Ashley:

Now, my lovely cohorts Sadé and Angeliqué are being sweet with their opinions on beauty. However, because I am sick, and antibiotics are one hell of a class of drugs, I’m knocking off filters.  Excuse me for being crass; something tells me my mama would clutch her pearls if she heard some of my following opinions.  Anyway, you know what makes a woman pretty?  Boobs.  Yep, I said it, boobs.  And butts, definitely butts.  Ok, so maybe they aren’t the most important, but, I have gone out looking like a bum, and no one cares because I’m chubby in the right places.  Really, that’s pretty, but you asked for beautiful.

No one can/should ever tell you what beautiful is, and it isn’t limited to women.  True beauty is serenity.  It is calmness and comfort in oneself that, as corny as it sounds, comes from within.  It is how you comport yourself, whether or not someone is watching.  Beauty is knowing who you are, facing it head on, and being truly happy with it.  It is also the strength of realizing that if you aren’t truly happy with whom you are, you can work to be the person you want to be in the end.  Beauty is not looking down on others, but accepting things that can and cannot be changed. 

Now, physical beauty?  As Angeliqué and Sadé said, it’s in the eye of the beholder.  For me, beauty is the following:  no body hair below the neck, a symmetrical face, good height, clear skin, a butt with the promise of power, and clean, straight, teeth.  Hell, that goes for the men I’m interested in too if you add “must be significantly taller than me” (I’m only 5’2 though, soooooo it’s not that hard).  Physical beauty is smelling like joy, cupcakes, and unicorn tears while being able to whip up a full meal for surprise guests at 10pm because you can’t leave folks hungry… Ok, that last one is just something I can do, and I term it as beautiful because—really, have you had my chicken?

In the end, what it comes down to is we don’t quite have an hard answer, and that’s what makes beauty so elusive, and as a result, even more beautiful.

…But really,  a good front and back handful doesn’t hurt either… [Sadé: Yeeeessssuuuuhhhh!!! *stomping feet, waving hands*]

Keep those questions coming!

~Angeliqué, Sadé, & Ashley, The BossBeauties